Lost Summer: Episode 11-12.
“All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues” & “Whatever The Case May Be.”
Alright, how’s it going, Losties? Lostaways? Tailies? Hatchlings? Latchkey Kids? Welcome to another week of Lost Summer. We have much to discuss. It’s less than 60 days to Halloween!
If you’re the type of person who starts decorating for Christmas on November 1, that’s fine. Live your life. Hey, let’s all start skipping Thanksgiving, sounds perfectly acceptable to me. Stupid holiday to say the least. But if that’s what you Christmas lovers get to do with your favorite holiday, then us Weenzies (trademark pending) get to begin our season on September 1. One month isn’t enough anymore; we need this.
I used to wait until the beginning of October before getting into all of my Halloween traditions. No longer. The Horror movie marathons start now. The costume planning begins before Summer officially ends. The coziness commences immediately and with extreme, cinnamon-flavored prejudice. I invite you to join me; just do me a favor and don’t call it “Spooky Season.” You’re making us Weenzies look like asses out there.
I like having something to look forward to without assuming it’s going to be ruined before it happens. I’m allowing myself to live inside of comfortable spaces instead of telling myself that I don’t deserve them. I used to think that this is what it meant to be stagnant and directionless. I now know that it’s okay to sometimes sit in the goddamn shade of the goddamn tree you planted with your own goddamn hands. And if this all means that I give myself an extra 30 days to do goofy shit and be happy, something tells me that I’ll survive and plant more trees in the future. My 22-year-old self in 2004 would hate this. My 42-year-old self in 2024 doesn’t care.
Check this out. I’m doing this fun thing with my dog, YUMI. On Friday or Saturday night- whichever day works best- I have a slumber party with her in the basement, just the two of us. She’s usually not allowed down there on her own (too many breakables), so it’s a special occasion when I pull out the sleeper sofa and spend the night down there with her. Seriously. She was so excited last week that she peed on the mattress topper and brought the festivities to a screeching halt. I make popcorn (I share), we stay up late and we watch scary movies that the Missus doesn’t want to watch. It rules.
So far, YUMI really seemed to like In A Violent Nature, probably because of the gentle pacing and soothing nature sounds between slaughterhouse-style murders. Maybe she also knew it was a Canadian production and Canadians are good people. She did not, however, care for When Evil Lurks, as there were way too many goats and dogs that she needed to bark at incessantly. She fell asleep during Skinamarink and left the basement entirely during Terrifier 2 (her most impactful review yet).
So what I’m saying is this: If starting my Halloween festivities a month early means I can do this an extra four times a year with YUMI, I’m gonna do it without hesitation. I encourage you to find a weekly Dog Basement Horror Slumber Party of your own.
Speaking of no hesitation, let’s make with THE THICK & MEATY post-haste!
EPISODE 11: “WHERE HAVE ALL THE COWBOYS GONE?”
Flashbacks
Jack operates on a woman who flatlines, and despite his attempts to revive her, his father Christian forces him to stop and call the time of death. It is later revealed that it was actually Christian's operation; Jack was called in by a nurse after it becomes apparent that his father was performing the surgery whilst plastered. Christian attempts to cover this up by making Jack sign a form detailing the surgery, albeit with his inebriation omitted from the report, stating that the hospital will revoke his medical license if alcohol is mentioned.
Clearly the Shephards don’t practice medicine in Wisconsin.
Some time later, Jack learns the patient's husband is suing the hospital. Jack and Christian attend a board meeting discussing what went wrong during the operation. The board reveals that the deceased woman was pregnant, which was unknown by Jack because he didn’t know that dead women could become pregnant (he was a nepo hire). Horrified, he confesses to the board that Christian was operating under the influence during the surgery, which impaired his judgment and led to the chain of events causing the woman's death. This is a reprehensible embarrassment to Wheatley American Vodka Surgical Center and Distillery.
On The Island
The camp has learned from Hurley that Ethan Rom is not listed in the passenger manifest. Furthermore, Charlie and Claire are missing and presumed filthy. Jack and Locke run through the jungle to find three distinct footprints, indicating that Ethan took Charlie and Claire. Locke decides to go back to gather a hunting party, but Jack continues alone. Locke returns with Kate and Boone and finds Jack- and I’m not making this up- walking in a circle. After they find a knuckle bandage left by Charlie as a clue, the party find two separate trails. Locke takes Boone in one direction, while Jack and Kate take the other.
It turns out that Jack and Kate are following the correct trail when they find more of Charlie's knuckle bandages. When it starts raining, Jack believes he hears Claire screaming. Jack tumbles down an embankment to find Ethan, who warns Jack he will kill one of his captives if he does not stop following him. A fistfight ensues and Ethan whips Jack’s ass. When Jack regains consciousness, he finds Charlie, who has been hanged by Ethan. Kate cuts him down and Jack furiously performs CPR despite Kate's pleas that he is dead. Jack does not give up and brings Charlie back to life after clubbing him about 50 times like a stepdad trying to start an old push-mower.
Back at the caves, Jack learns from Charlie that “they” only wanted Claire. In the meantime, Boone and Locke are still looking through the jungle. Boone decides to go back to the caves. As Locke throws him a flashlight, Boone drops it and it clanks on a metal surface embedded in the ground. You know, I think this is the beginning of a long and healthy friendship between Locke and Boone.
EPISODE 12: “I DON’T WANT TO WAIT”
Flashbacks
Kate is in New Mexico, applying for a loan at a bank using an alias. Three masked men enter and attempt to rob the bank. A man tells Kate that they can stop the robbers before he grabs and disarms one (Note: Don’t do this, even in 2004). Kate grabs the disarmed man’s gun but when the man tells her to shoot the thief she claims that she doesn’t know how to use a gun. One of the thieves pulls Kate into a back room after the situation is handled and they share a kiss, revealing that Kate is either part of the robbery or this man is turned on by inept women who cannot handle weapons.
The man hits Kate to make it look as if she's an innocent civilian, and “threatens” to kill her unless the manager takes them to the vault. In the back, one of the robbers tells the manager that the whole robbery was Kate's idea. She then shoots the felons and tells the manager to open safety deposit box #815, the true reason for the robbery. The manager opens the safety deposit box and Kate takes the contents: A single envelope containing a Peanut Butter Twix. Do you know how rare those things are?
On The Island
While swimming near a waterfall, Kate and Sawyer find a locked suitcase among some sunken wreckage and waterlogged bodies. Kate wants it (the suitcase, not the bodies), but refuses to tell Sawyer what's inside, so he takes it. Shannon asks Boone what he and Locke do every day when they go out into the jungle, and Boone replies that they're looking for Claire, who has been kidnapped by Ethan. While Shannon complains that Boone should locate food, Boone gets upset and calls her “useless.”
The next day, Sayid asks Shannon to help him translate Rousseau's French notes. Michael tells Sawyer the only way to open the case is with pure force. Sawyer drops the case off a cliff, but it still doesn't open. Kate steals it from him, but Sawyer pins her hands down and gets it back. He tells her that he will give the case to her if she tells him what's inside. She refuses. The entire first act of this episode is Kate and Sawyer playing grabass in the jungle like youth counselors at the first week of Celibacy Camp.
Kate goes to Jack and says the case contains weapons. It belonged to the deceased Marshal and the key is buried with him. They dig up the body and Kate pulls out his wallet. Before giving it to Jack, she palms the key, but he catches her. Just when you thought the Marshal was done being desecrated, they go ahead and exhume the man’s corpse. The only guy who did his job correctly, and he’s turned into a Passion Play as punishment.
Jack gives Sawyer an ultimatum: If he does not hand over the case, Jack will stop giving him antibiotics for his knife wound. Afraid of getting an infection, Sawyer hands over the case. Jack and Kate open the case. There are guns and a manila envelope, the same which was in the safety box. Kate opens it and pulls out a toy airplane. When pressured, Kate says it belonged to the man she loved…and killed. She then cries, but receives no sympathy from Jack. Jack’s pretty crabby this episode. I don’t blame him.
Smash cut, episode mercifully over.
Before Lost Summer is through, I wanted to make sure I pulled as many old segments out of the archives as I could. So instead of breaking it down today, let’s point some well-deserved fingers and determine who’s JERK OF THE WEEK!
Let’s weigh the nominees, shall we?
CHRISTIAN SHEPHARD
Offenses: Operating on (and killing) a woman while drunk. Lying about the death in the medical report and gaslighting Jack into doing the same. Getting lit at brunch.
WALT LLOYD
Offenses: Using the island’s magical powers to cheat at backgammon against Hurley.
BOONE CARLYLE
Offenses: Talking to Locke about Star Trek even after Locke clearly didn’t want to.
KATE AUSTEN
Offenses: Lying to Sawyer about the suitcase. Lying to Jack about the suitcase. Lying to Jack about the Marshal’s key. Shooting three different people after pleading that “nobody gets hurt.” Manipulating three rubes into robbing a bank so she could retrieve a toy airplane.
ETHAN ROM
Offenses: Killing Charlie.
I don’t know where else to put this, but I have a Top 10 Favorite Ethan Rom Anagrams for you, and here we go!
10. Neat Ho, Mr.
9. Ear Month
8. Ram Ten Ho
7. Hat Men, Or?
6. Ham Tenor
5. A Ten Ho, Mr.
4. Rat Men? Oh.
3. Tar Me, Hon!
2. Meat Horn
1. Ha! Men Rot
And of course, the award for JERK OF THE WEEK goes to the HALLIBURTON SUITCASE, for being such a stubborn, durable product as well as an episode-ruining MacGuffin. Better luck with your a-hole games next time, everyone. Make with THE NUMBERS!
4 – “All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues” was watched by 18.88 million viewers, the sixth largest American audience the week it aired. “Whatever The Case May Be” was watched by 21.6 million viewers, a Season 1 high. Not bad for one of the worst episodes of a fantastic overall season of TV. Episode 12 is one of the more filler-y, hanging-around-the-house episodes we get all season. Almost everything that happens on the island is in service or response to Kate’s weak flashbacks; sort of a letdown following the momentum of the last few episodes.
8 – In Episode 11 Boone asks Locke if he has ever watched Star Trek. Terry O'Quinn played an Admiral in an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. J.J. Abrams also went on to direct two Star Trek films and has a net worth of $300,000,000.00. Nerd.
15 – In Episode 11, when Walt and Hurley play backgammon, Walt tells Hurley that he owes him $20,000, to which Hurley replies "You'll get it." We’ll soon find out that he was being serious. It’s wild that the Hatch shows up before the Numbers, right?
16 – In Episode 12, the behind-the-scenes reason for the “unusual tides” that are about to submerge the fuselage was that actual seasonal tides were about to actually flood the shooting site. Submerging the fuselage set would have been an ecological disaster, so an in-story reason was found for the survivors to move their camp to a different location.
23 – Episode writer Javier Grillo-Marxuach described the “hysterical CPR” in Episode 11 as “the biggest cliché in the book,” but added “the people who were writing for the show decided that maybe we earned it. It gave us the emotional payoff for the episode.” In retrospect, I’m with him on that. A lot of people, and a lot of main characters, will eventually die on Lost. Jack was supposed to die in the pilot. I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility that Charlie would expire so early in the run. It was a very believable, heavy moment and a good bit of character building for Jack. It also showed that the Others (Ethan in particular) had no problem killing anyone that got in the way of their mission.
42 – In Episode 11, the flashlight that Locke throws to Boone gets “sucked” into the hatch likely due to the electromagnetic energy. In Episode 12, the show “sucked” because of Kate.
Thanks so much for reading; a reminder that Lost Summer will be back Friday with another three course helping of recap goodness, sliced thin and piled high. Sound off in the comments and enjoy your week.